12:30 am 30Th Jan
after exhausting all possible recent songs i pick up Seth's "an equal music". it has been teasing me for over 5 days sitting pretty on the bookshelf.
1:30 am
the only music audible now is the occasional car honk.
day fades into night. lights burn on.
a few Priyanka Chopra dreams later.............
7:00 am
the mobile manages to wake me up after spectacularly failing in its previous nine attempts. ( it was set for an ambitious 5:30) just wondering if they teach them the story of "the king and the spider" at the Nokia factory..:-) some perseverance!!
7:15 am
i reluctantly pick up my running shoes. 5 minutes on the bike and i find myself in the university ground. shaking off moths old rust i start running as if to beat Roger Bannister to a four minute mile(besides stamina it will also involve time travel..he did that in 1954)
obviously it doesn't work.
500 metres from the start and the shaky edifices of my willpower crumble at the sight of the mammoth task capitulating to sound reason.
nevertheless some tweeny weeny calories must have been terminated , never to reappear..poor thing-ies..
8:00 am
after some feeble attempts at exercise i head to the coconut water stall...or rather cart.
it's 20 bucks ( instead of the usual 10). the seller lies about some supply bottlenecks. whatever!!
9:30 am
i get ready to log into my daily routine when suddenly the radio enlightens me to the fact of the day being a holiday. bank and library will have to wait for tomorrow. no ceiling gazing today :-)
now, a new problem presents itself.
what to do with one full day..even solitude will be bored to accompany me all day.
had i been a workaholic i would have got into a ritual nail chewing brainstorming stance.
but I'm made of lazier stuff:-)
i face the same problem 200 days out of 365 with one common solution....wasting it..
(hopefully none of you will agree with my solution or we'll end up putting sand in the wheels of the economy)
1:30 pm
4 hours spent on playing "need for speed, carbon" have been very fruitful.
3 new territories have been conquered . besides police pursuit has been evaded twice.
suddenly i have a bright new idea.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
where eagles crash!!
the most important event in my day was perhaps the sighting of a falling eagle.
an electric line which provides most of the life to otherwise morose lifestyle of middle class delhi snuffed out the life of the king of birds. poignantly it's a metaphor of life itself in more ways than one.
i wish i had sighted soaring eagles instead.the eagle in the incident could be the aspirations of the young which, often battling consevation and agencies of decandence fail to soar. there is something very sad, almost sinister about the the death of dreams. they finish people in ways that no guns can.
an electric line which provides most of the life to otherwise morose lifestyle of middle class delhi snuffed out the life of the king of birds. poignantly it's a metaphor of life itself in more ways than one.
i wish i had sighted soaring eagles instead.the eagle in the incident could be the aspirations of the young which, often battling consevation and agencies of decandence fail to soar. there is something very sad, almost sinister about the the death of dreams. they finish people in ways that no guns can.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
rains
Delhi January 29 7 pm
its raining!!the first showers from the cyclonic system originating in west Asia , the western disturbances.besides blocking city, streets it serves other, useful purposes.
the winter or the "Rabi" crops in the green revolution heartland of Punjab and Haryana crucially depend on this phenomenon.so, the next time you reach for a roti or bread thank rains.
but yesterday's rain was slightly surprising from a weatherman's viewpoint.
their was no associated chill, a norm for north west India January rainfalls. i won't get enmeshed in a spirited discussion of global warming but we know where all this will lead to.
i am a confirmed rain lover.
every rainfall brings to mind multiple images and a junction full of memory trains whistling past white cotton ball clouds.
i think of cherapunji, of the people forever tuned in to the fine music of falling raindrops on a tin roof. it reminds me of a green equatorial rain forest with the constant rhythm of rains embellished with bird chirps and animal grunts. some other images are coffee plantations and sea coasts.
rains are also a city life special.
there are few things in the world as beautiful as an urban winter evening rainfall specially if you are travelling on a Delhi flyover. the dark of the world broke up by columns of droplet diffused light from automobile headlights. its a time to think, to enjoy...to fall in love.
that's my picture for pure, unadulterated romance.
two people in a dark,urban isolation with nothing to do and everything to know.
if the phones stop working all the more perfect..there's something about silence in a city, you have more of it in a smaller place..but in a city you learn the price or rather the pricelessness of solitude.
and then there are those other times, when relationships turn sour. the smell of fresh earth mingles and loses itself in the taste of unrequited love creating a inter modal emotional nightmare.
rains are so much like our lives. the interplay of the dark and the light, the good and the evil, love and longing,fickle and sure.
i once read a book called "chasing the monsoons".(set in 1987)
the author catches the rains on their first landfall on the southern tip of the peninsula and follows it upcountry to the "abode of clouds" before continuing it across the Hindi heartland ad reaching Delhi.
that's a journey I'll do sooner than later.
i am sure many more of you will be interested.
follow your heart, do it. your life will never be the same again.
its raining!!the first showers from the cyclonic system originating in west Asia , the western disturbances.besides blocking city, streets it serves other, useful purposes.
the winter or the "Rabi" crops in the green revolution heartland of Punjab and Haryana crucially depend on this phenomenon.so, the next time you reach for a roti or bread thank rains.
but yesterday's rain was slightly surprising from a weatherman's viewpoint.
their was no associated chill, a norm for north west India January rainfalls. i won't get enmeshed in a spirited discussion of global warming but we know where all this will lead to.
i am a confirmed rain lover.
every rainfall brings to mind multiple images and a junction full of memory trains whistling past white cotton ball clouds.
i think of cherapunji, of the people forever tuned in to the fine music of falling raindrops on a tin roof. it reminds me of a green equatorial rain forest with the constant rhythm of rains embellished with bird chirps and animal grunts. some other images are coffee plantations and sea coasts.
rains are also a city life special.
there are few things in the world as beautiful as an urban winter evening rainfall specially if you are travelling on a Delhi flyover. the dark of the world broke up by columns of droplet diffused light from automobile headlights. its a time to think, to enjoy...to fall in love.
that's my picture for pure, unadulterated romance.
two people in a dark,urban isolation with nothing to do and everything to know.
if the phones stop working all the more perfect..there's something about silence in a city, you have more of it in a smaller place..but in a city you learn the price or rather the pricelessness of solitude.
and then there are those other times, when relationships turn sour. the smell of fresh earth mingles and loses itself in the taste of unrequited love creating a inter modal emotional nightmare.
rains are so much like our lives. the interplay of the dark and the light, the good and the evil, love and longing,fickle and sure.
i once read a book called "chasing the monsoons".(set in 1987)
the author catches the rains on their first landfall on the southern tip of the peninsula and follows it upcountry to the "abode of clouds" before continuing it across the Hindi heartland ad reaching Delhi.
that's a journey I'll do sooner than later.
i am sure many more of you will be interested.
follow your heart, do it. your life will never be the same again.
Monday, January 29, 2007
mythology
troy brings to mind a whole load of memories.
years of being addicted to the "age of empires" and " age of mythology" have made the Greek seem less Greek...lol
i like the entire pantheon of gods and goddesses. from Hera, Athena to Aphrodite ( whose name has lent English a most interesting word...lol) to Apollo. atlas (a.k.a sheshnag :-) ) is equally adorable for keeping our planet high and dry from the black waters of space, besides fulfilling the vehicular needs of millions of Indians....lol
but my personal favourite is the half god half mortal, Achilles.
the liking has more to do with the fact that brad Pitt essayed the role in the movie "troy"...lol
(Jennifer aniston fans please excuse, i have seen a few thousand "Rachel" dreams myself..lol)
Achilles the character, has that kind of confidence, that superb poise and an amazing surety of action. no odds are too heavy ,no battle are too difficult. i guess we all have an Achilles inside us, but rationality and caution prevent him from taking control of our endeavours , in effect separating our thought and action.this chasm, appears narrow from a overview.
but deep down, this very crack widens into the difference between man and god.
its a somewhat surprising and even illogical bargain. life, is the price to pay for immortality.
thankfully enough of us chicken out. leaving enough space atop mount Olympus, or Indra's court if you prefer..lol
in a sense, Achilles is the perfect randian hero, the ancient day Howard roark.
their is a very delightful aspect about a randian hero. even when they eventually fall down, unlike Icarus's fall its not a dead fall. the fall in itself has more life than what an assortment of hackneyed lives have.
the analogy between homer and Ayn rand also shows how civilizational progress is never an exercise in vacuum. ideas are age old. the only thing that's new is the position of the society on a debate point and the color and the intensity of arguments.
change in the only constant in this world. contradictions galore..lol...probably it displays my true inside world.he he
closer home, if there is one mythological figure who epitomizes change it's lord Krishna.
lord Rama may be the perfect Indian ego ideal, but his qualities border on being a sum total of moral, spiritual aspirations rather than being an actual implementable code of conduct.
in the same way the latter day epic Mahabharata,is a story much more suited to our times than Ramayana.besides being on a much broader canvass it essays the entire gamut of human emotions with justifying any of them, naked and open to scrutiny.
it drives home the idea of imperfect , fallible heroes.
heroes in Mahabharata have feet of clay.
they change stances according to the shifting sands of time.
they make mistakes, conspire, plot, avenge injustice are jealous and lustful.
their fights are for petty selfish interests often keeping at bay the larger goals of the nation.
we surely can identify :-)
years of being addicted to the "age of empires" and " age of mythology" have made the Greek seem less Greek...lol
i like the entire pantheon of gods and goddesses. from Hera, Athena to Aphrodite ( whose name has lent English a most interesting word...lol) to Apollo. atlas (a.k.a sheshnag :-) ) is equally adorable for keeping our planet high and dry from the black waters of space, besides fulfilling the vehicular needs of millions of Indians....lol
but my personal favourite is the half god half mortal, Achilles.
the liking has more to do with the fact that brad Pitt essayed the role in the movie "troy"...lol
(Jennifer aniston fans please excuse, i have seen a few thousand "Rachel" dreams myself..lol)
Achilles the character, has that kind of confidence, that superb poise and an amazing surety of action. no odds are too heavy ,no battle are too difficult. i guess we all have an Achilles inside us, but rationality and caution prevent him from taking control of our endeavours , in effect separating our thought and action.this chasm, appears narrow from a overview.
but deep down, this very crack widens into the difference between man and god.
its a somewhat surprising and even illogical bargain. life, is the price to pay for immortality.
thankfully enough of us chicken out. leaving enough space atop mount Olympus, or Indra's court if you prefer..lol
in a sense, Achilles is the perfect randian hero, the ancient day Howard roark.
their is a very delightful aspect about a randian hero. even when they eventually fall down, unlike Icarus's fall its not a dead fall. the fall in itself has more life than what an assortment of hackneyed lives have.
the analogy between homer and Ayn rand also shows how civilizational progress is never an exercise in vacuum. ideas are age old. the only thing that's new is the position of the society on a debate point and the color and the intensity of arguments.
change in the only constant in this world. contradictions galore..lol...probably it displays my true inside world.he he
closer home, if there is one mythological figure who epitomizes change it's lord Krishna.
lord Rama may be the perfect Indian ego ideal, but his qualities border on being a sum total of moral, spiritual aspirations rather than being an actual implementable code of conduct.
in the same way the latter day epic Mahabharata,is a story much more suited to our times than Ramayana.besides being on a much broader canvass it essays the entire gamut of human emotions with justifying any of them, naked and open to scrutiny.
it drives home the idea of imperfect , fallible heroes.
heroes in Mahabharata have feet of clay.
they change stances according to the shifting sands of time.
they make mistakes, conspire, plot, avenge injustice are jealous and lustful.
their fights are for petty selfish interests often keeping at bay the larger goals of the nation.
we surely can identify :-)
memories..
life is full of surprises. a twist of fate has made this blog worth three thousand rupees..:-)
now, don't appear mystified...I'll explain.
i felt that if i were to be consistent blogger I'll better maintain a daily diary. i opened my pencil box after a full four months. and the first thing i found was a suspicious bit of paper. it was a cheque expiring on first Feb, 2007.
i opened my old diary for inspiration.
the 29Th January 2006 entry was written by a friend.it was a litany of complaints. he allegations ranged from personal hygiene, (or rather the lack of it..lol)..to not giving her enough time.
my newspaper and quiz books are co accused for being corrupting influences.
ah...the magic of being fussed over.
pain and happiness meet like the two head streams of a mighty river about to debauch into the plains for finely orchestrated performance of life.
the convoy of hope and life tugs along the ashen moors.
a few yellow leaves fall from a young tree down into a flowing, gushing stream.
all elements fulfilling their own essential destiny.
writing a blog makes one feel so middle aged..lol.
everything you write reminds you of something else.
just as, every person you meet reminds you of someone else.
thus, the usual coffee shop conversations..."you won't believe how much you look like neha. why she even dressed the way you do"....lol
by the end of the conversation both parties have a few more grey hair between them..lol
wonder where people keep dropping out of lives...that too in the times of the mighty mobile.
modern psychologists look at our entire lives as a convoy of ships.
as kids a majority of us begin with young robust fleets.
each gathering storm, every irregular coastline dents and depletes our fleet besides breaking our spirits.
at times fatal storms, like real life tsunamis deletes the entire convoy from the face of the ocean as if it never existed. the hungry tide exacts a final unfortunate victory over mankind.
the one's who survive at the end are battered, but supremely calm. a calm which comes from being aware of every danger on offer and yet, holding no fear.the ships of life anchor into their final destinies.
that , my dear reader completes our entire karmic cycle.
yours and mine.
this palate appears to be getting a bit heavy.
I'll inject the best flavoring agent known to man, beauty.( :-) can i ever quit being a jerk)
convoy and beauty meet in the story of Helen, Helen of troy.
"the face that set a thousand ships sail"
(i wonder if modern day maverick will someday fly a thousand jets to profess his love... that would be madness, but who said romance is anything other than madness..lol)
there's a very moving scene in the movie troy.
the young prince Paris is tormented by ghosts of guilt and self doubt.
he walks up to the wise king asking whether his action of abducting Helen and forcing war on two lands was a fair one.
the king replies, "son, if wars can be fought over wealth and land, i think its a honour fighting for love"
hats off!!
now, don't appear mystified...I'll explain.
i felt that if i were to be consistent blogger I'll better maintain a daily diary. i opened my pencil box after a full four months. and the first thing i found was a suspicious bit of paper. it was a cheque expiring on first Feb, 2007.
i opened my old diary for inspiration.
the 29Th January 2006 entry was written by a friend.it was a litany of complaints. he allegations ranged from personal hygiene, (or rather the lack of it..lol)..to not giving her enough time.
my newspaper and quiz books are co accused for being corrupting influences.
ah...the magic of being fussed over.
pain and happiness meet like the two head streams of a mighty river about to debauch into the plains for finely orchestrated performance of life.
the convoy of hope and life tugs along the ashen moors.
a few yellow leaves fall from a young tree down into a flowing, gushing stream.
all elements fulfilling their own essential destiny.
writing a blog makes one feel so middle aged..lol.
everything you write reminds you of something else.
just as, every person you meet reminds you of someone else.
thus, the usual coffee shop conversations..."you won't believe how much you look like neha. why she even dressed the way you do"....lol
by the end of the conversation both parties have a few more grey hair between them..lol
wonder where people keep dropping out of lives...that too in the times of the mighty mobile.
modern psychologists look at our entire lives as a convoy of ships.
as kids a majority of us begin with young robust fleets.
each gathering storm, every irregular coastline dents and depletes our fleet besides breaking our spirits.
at times fatal storms, like real life tsunamis deletes the entire convoy from the face of the ocean as if it never existed. the hungry tide exacts a final unfortunate victory over mankind.
the one's who survive at the end are battered, but supremely calm. a calm which comes from being aware of every danger on offer and yet, holding no fear.the ships of life anchor into their final destinies.
that , my dear reader completes our entire karmic cycle.
yours and mine.
this palate appears to be getting a bit heavy.
I'll inject the best flavoring agent known to man, beauty.( :-) can i ever quit being a jerk)
convoy and beauty meet in the story of Helen, Helen of troy.
"the face that set a thousand ships sail"
(i wonder if modern day maverick will someday fly a thousand jets to profess his love... that would be madness, but who said romance is anything other than madness..lol)
there's a very moving scene in the movie troy.
the young prince Paris is tormented by ghosts of guilt and self doubt.
he walks up to the wise king asking whether his action of abducting Helen and forcing war on two lands was a fair one.
the king replies, "son, if wars can be fought over wealth and land, i think its a honour fighting for love"
hats off!!
Sunday, January 28, 2007
testimonial
this is a testimonial i'll probably always like...
hmmm....i guess i can write an essay on you..lol...but since i write essays on almost everything, a shorter note will be more meaningful..lol..
.okay, the 2 lol's so far and the millions that aid my rather limited verbal competence owe their induction in my vocab to her..just like mood swings and madness do..lol..she's one of the best people i know(not that i know many people..lol!!)more importantly i like her just as i like myself...so, that obliviates the need for a page full of adjectives...lol.,
i have relied on you for so many things.. i never gave it a second thought before waking you up in the middle of the night ..always loaded you with my problems without ever enquiring if you were ok..just like the everlasting sunshine,i believed in your power to be the same and be there for me all the timesand yet, with a stubborn consistency you have played god..
just be who you are.
as they say,"the more the things change,the more they remain the same"
keep smiling ...
hmmm....i guess i can write an essay on you..lol...but since i write essays on almost everything, a shorter note will be more meaningful..lol..
.okay, the 2 lol's so far and the millions that aid my rather limited verbal competence owe their induction in my vocab to her..just like mood swings and madness do..lol..she's one of the best people i know(not that i know many people..lol!!)more importantly i like her just as i like myself...so, that obliviates the need for a page full of adjectives...lol.,
i have relied on you for so many things.. i never gave it a second thought before waking you up in the middle of the night ..always loaded you with my problems without ever enquiring if you were ok..just like the everlasting sunshine,i believed in your power to be the same and be there for me all the timesand yet, with a stubborn consistency you have played god..
just be who you are.
as they say,"the more the things change,the more they remain the same"
keep smiling ...
firsts
All my life i have been tormented by the firsts.
first day in school, first time out of home, first date, first results...i guess even first blog..lol
i think first paycheck may break the trend..lol
ok.. now that i have managed to sound anxious and jittery appropriate for the occasion, i'll find some useful enterprise in this fading orange january afternoon.
well, im a usual 23 year old, with usual interests and unusual ambitions.its been a beautiful life so far, and every day seems all the better. There has been hurt and pain, but i don't like dwelling upon that...sooner or later we all turn the corner where a bright future awaits us.
like the promised golden mounatin across the valley of shadows
first day in school, first time out of home, first date, first results...i guess even first blog..lol
i think first paycheck may break the trend..lol
ok.. now that i have managed to sound anxious and jittery appropriate for the occasion, i'll find some useful enterprise in this fading orange january afternoon.
well, im a usual 23 year old, with usual interests and unusual ambitions.its been a beautiful life so far, and every day seems all the better. There has been hurt and pain, but i don't like dwelling upon that...sooner or later we all turn the corner where a bright future awaits us.
like the promised golden mounatin across the valley of shadows
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