its an odd situation. best laid plans backfiring, downhill social life, weeks of effort and little succour.
i have reached the climax of 2 years of high expectations- near achievements-unexpected failures.
like the arch existentialist i am, i'll like to believe that the failures, like many of earlier successes are entirely my doing, but when a host of actors start questioning you on the same it becomes difficult.
i stepped out of college in may 2005, into a life pregnant with possibilities. a good economics degree from a good college. i always loved tempting fate. i took my chance. i gave the civil services exam 12 days after my last exam. may 15th.i never knew how fundamentally my life will be changed.
2 months of dilling dallying about the second subject i were to take made little difference. and suddenly i found i was through . next was the mains. October November 2005. i just hung on and gave a decent exam. 4 more months in wilderness. suddenly it was the interview. devoid of preparation it went badly. that was April 2006. next blow was jaundice which happened just somewhere at the same time.
may 8th i got to know my final results. negative. may 14th was the next PT. i somehow gathered my sickened body to give the exam. next two months were spent in getting back to optimal health.
slogged for 3 months and gave the next mains. CAT was 10 days after my mains. my love for tempting fate resurfaced. gave the CAT.got 98 percentile. too confident about my ias results i didn bother much.
in an anticlimax, i scored in a manner i never have previously. didn't even make it to the interview.
may 20th is the next PT.so bowing to the larger realities of life, i'll have to get studying.
suddenly, a horde of relatives have sensed what's wrong with me. overconfidence.
somehow, even though i hardly bother with any of them ,they have high stakes in me. my throwing away a good cat score became a personal affront to many. their line of argument was that i was "lucky" enough to get a good percentile, which may not happen again.
almost every character in my life believes that i lack direction/conviction. to the extent that it took toll on multiple relationships.
i am being suggested to take classes which make me employable.....lol.
grrr...gimme a break. [:)]
for all my wins and losses i don't blame any one.
i just am trying to live my dreams. i may fail in the process, i am entirely aware of the consequences that await me, but these imperatives won't change the person i am.
and despite all provocations i'll continue being myself.
sorry fellas about this online catharsis. i can't find anyone offline intelligent enough to make sense ( at least on this moment)
"jindagi badi honi chahiye, lambi nahi"
to the one dreamer that lives in all our hearts...
just remembered a song " ye jo jindagi hai , koi karwa hai, kahan ja rahi hai......."
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Saturday, April 21, 2007
camilla the cat-2
3 rows back Camilla spotted moti-max-monty dog...or 3M's dog as friends fondly called him. he was splayed on a comfortable sofa in the lounge area that he habitually reserved. bedecked in jewellery and served by two human bearers he painted a perfect picture of opulence.
moti -max-monty was the richest animal in the vicinity of football field nagar area.
he belonged to a rich, divorced socialite who left her entire property to her dog.
from there Monty dog never looked back. he added his father's and grandfather's name to his own to make it look a little like the titled names of the European aristocratic dogs he met on his summer retreat. in fact, reports suggest that he wanted to add two more generations in his name but had to put down the idea after his tax lawyers protested at the quantum of extra work involved in writing down his name , year after year.
of late monty bog has been spotted in London lobbying for a "peerage". he even asks his acolytes to address him as "sir" moti-max-monty.
sir moti-max-monty or sir 3M's has a wide range of interests. his name is a fusion of east and west. his crusades for dog pride are historic . and if you discount the extra bit of flab ( after all money should show), an out of shape body( little time!!) and a bad face ( blame it on nature) , sir 3M's is quite a looker.
his recent forays are in Indian history. after he read about the forts of central India he rechristened his refurbished villa as "moti mahal" after his illustrious grandfather.on his Gwalior trip he came to know of a monument for sale called "kutia mahal". he promptly bought the property and developed it into a 5 star dotel.(dog hotel). guests are offered 56 varieties of dog food and can sit and enjoy humans fighting or running. they can even put bets on the humans of their choice.
the canine magazine recently called it "dog world's answer to Hilton" , though it failed to specify whether it meant the hotel or the heiress.
a group of academic dogs have opposed these practices and called it un-dog like . they even started an organization called PETH, and got adverts done by doga, the dog superstar of the millennium.
there were murmurs that his grandfather was a common bone chaser in drought time orissa and his father was a cheap police dog.
sir 3 M's brought the murmurs to rest by bringing out an illustrated coffee table book which traced the lineage of sir 3M's family back to the time when moti the first crossed the Asian grasslands leading the marauding Turkish hordes, becoming the first dog in Indian subcontinent.
the most glorious chapter was of course , of his namesake Monty the third who lead a valiant dog squad in a dazzling military action at Waterloo. at one point he swam half the length of English channel to chase a french ship.
it inspired one of the most famous poems in English language " charge of the dog brigade"
of course with his present string of blazing success Monty the present could end up being the greatest of all time.
to be continued...hopefully :)
moti -max-monty was the richest animal in the vicinity of football field nagar area.
he belonged to a rich, divorced socialite who left her entire property to her dog.
from there Monty dog never looked back. he added his father's and grandfather's name to his own to make it look a little like the titled names of the European aristocratic dogs he met on his summer retreat. in fact, reports suggest that he wanted to add two more generations in his name but had to put down the idea after his tax lawyers protested at the quantum of extra work involved in writing down his name , year after year.
of late monty bog has been spotted in London lobbying for a "peerage". he even asks his acolytes to address him as "sir" moti-max-monty.
sir moti-max-monty or sir 3M's has a wide range of interests. his name is a fusion of east and west. his crusades for dog pride are historic . and if you discount the extra bit of flab ( after all money should show), an out of shape body( little time!!) and a bad face ( blame it on nature) , sir 3M's is quite a looker.
his recent forays are in Indian history. after he read about the forts of central India he rechristened his refurbished villa as "moti mahal" after his illustrious grandfather.on his Gwalior trip he came to know of a monument for sale called "kutia mahal". he promptly bought the property and developed it into a 5 star dotel.(dog hotel). guests are offered 56 varieties of dog food and can sit and enjoy humans fighting or running. they can even put bets on the humans of their choice.
the canine magazine recently called it "dog world's answer to Hilton" , though it failed to specify whether it meant the hotel or the heiress.
a group of academic dogs have opposed these practices and called it un-dog like . they even started an organization called PETH, and got adverts done by doga, the dog superstar of the millennium.
there were murmurs that his grandfather was a common bone chaser in drought time orissa and his father was a cheap police dog.
sir 3 M's brought the murmurs to rest by bringing out an illustrated coffee table book which traced the lineage of sir 3M's family back to the time when moti the first crossed the Asian grasslands leading the marauding Turkish hordes, becoming the first dog in Indian subcontinent.
the most glorious chapter was of course , of his namesake Monty the third who lead a valiant dog squad in a dazzling military action at Waterloo. at one point he swam half the length of English channel to chase a french ship.
it inspired one of the most famous poems in English language " charge of the dog brigade"
of course with his present string of blazing success Monty the present could end up being the greatest of all time.
to be continued...hopefully :)
camilla the cat
for nilesh, my kid brother. something he can read and hopefully enjoy, unlike the loads of inanities elsewhere on the page :) he'll be back from school next week.
camilla the cat woke up with flies on her whiskers and anger on her crimson ears. it was an unusually hot late Delhi afternoon, perfect for a nap. Camilla's life moved from nap to nap rather than otherwise and these unexpected shuffling of priorities did her already foul mood little good.
she looked at the WWF calendar hanging above her head on kumar's courtyard. 20th the Friday. tomorrow, she told herself she'll go to the WWF India near habitat centre to check on her petition for endangered species status for amber striped cats in urban settings.
the status, ahh...would mean so much. attention, funds and freebies.
today, like every Friday she'll go for a movie.
the movie though reminded her of last weeks "penguins in love". it kept giving her delicious day dreams for a week to follow.
her mind drifted to the latest political crisis in her life. her president ship of the football field nagar canine, vermine , feline and ursine creatures association(CVFUA) was under threat.
taking a cue from the results of latest MCD elections certain saffron cats were trying to bring a no confidence motion against her paw mark party's government.
if only she can turn the clock a little bit. only last month she had successfully lobbied for the reduction in duties in pet foods with the finance minister. budget 2007 was the most successful budget in the entire CVFUA's history. in fact national feline organizations invited her to take up positions in their organizations.
but being the true secularist she cannot serve in parochial organizations and fritter away the gains made by rainbow coalitions like hers across the country. their slogans like " every dog has already had his day" and "mouse meat for every cat" disgusted her.
she looked at kumar's window. he sat gazing into his unkempt garden, transfixed at an unknown point. Camilla sighed!!
kumar in her view was the laziest, most useless creature of any calling that she ever encountered. twice her 12 years in age, he stayed in a single person household enjoying every moment of it.
though Camilla suspected that it was a grand ploy and he was actually unhappy inside. three years she had watched him curiously. hoping for the mask to fall. but kumar stayed the same.
he was so non descript that even in a one person household he was hardly visible. she half suspected that he melted into the walls using some occult powers. but she wouldn't really let have kumar anything special, even in imagination. so she put down his normalcy to some kind of extreme dumbness.
to top it all , his taste in music was pathetic. he was forever lost in old, romantic numbers. she hoped he'll wisen up some day and buy a stack of latest cat hop or dog lop songs. in fact, she may even consider being friends with him if he did that.
her cager rang. horrified she realized that she has spent 10 minutes of premium Camilla time on wondering about someone like kumar.
she looked at the message from rotu rat. "hey cattie". 2 words absolutely devoid of meaning. she pitied the person who may take an IQ test of rotu rat. before she met rotu she thought only humans were stupid enough to go through hie, bye motions without purpose.
she felt like breaking rotu's nose. only he didn't have a proper one. plus he was a nice guy and despite his stupidity pretty useful.
she looked around to find the sun turning scarlet. she turned and picked up her favourite Garfield skateboard.
after 5 minutes of skating down she reached the nearest multiplex. her heart sank as she realized their were no animal flicks. she'll have to settle for one of those non funny human types.
3 out of 4 were the mandatory mushy romances(eeeeeks!!). her choice became clearer.
stepping into the controlled air conditioned environment she realized the difference.
she made a mental note to read the article about global warming in the "cat chronicles". she had missed reading it initially because she didn't like the photograph next to it. it was of a professor with dirty green eyes that all old and unglamourous cats have.bah!! old cat.
to be continued..lol :)
camilla the cat woke up with flies on her whiskers and anger on her crimson ears. it was an unusually hot late Delhi afternoon, perfect for a nap. Camilla's life moved from nap to nap rather than otherwise and these unexpected shuffling of priorities did her already foul mood little good.
she looked at the WWF calendar hanging above her head on kumar's courtyard. 20th the Friday. tomorrow, she told herself she'll go to the WWF India near habitat centre to check on her petition for endangered species status for amber striped cats in urban settings.
the status, ahh...would mean so much. attention, funds and freebies.
today, like every Friday she'll go for a movie.
the movie though reminded her of last weeks "penguins in love". it kept giving her delicious day dreams for a week to follow.
her mind drifted to the latest political crisis in her life. her president ship of the football field nagar canine, vermine , feline and ursine creatures association(CVFUA) was under threat.
taking a cue from the results of latest MCD elections certain saffron cats were trying to bring a no confidence motion against her paw mark party's government.
if only she can turn the clock a little bit. only last month she had successfully lobbied for the reduction in duties in pet foods with the finance minister. budget 2007 was the most successful budget in the entire CVFUA's history. in fact national feline organizations invited her to take up positions in their organizations.
but being the true secularist she cannot serve in parochial organizations and fritter away the gains made by rainbow coalitions like hers across the country. their slogans like " every dog has already had his day" and "mouse meat for every cat" disgusted her.
she looked at kumar's window. he sat gazing into his unkempt garden, transfixed at an unknown point. Camilla sighed!!
kumar in her view was the laziest, most useless creature of any calling that she ever encountered. twice her 12 years in age, he stayed in a single person household enjoying every moment of it.
though Camilla suspected that it was a grand ploy and he was actually unhappy inside. three years she had watched him curiously. hoping for the mask to fall. but kumar stayed the same.
he was so non descript that even in a one person household he was hardly visible. she half suspected that he melted into the walls using some occult powers. but she wouldn't really let have kumar anything special, even in imagination. so she put down his normalcy to some kind of extreme dumbness.
to top it all , his taste in music was pathetic. he was forever lost in old, romantic numbers. she hoped he'll wisen up some day and buy a stack of latest cat hop or dog lop songs. in fact, she may even consider being friends with him if he did that.
her cager rang. horrified she realized that she has spent 10 minutes of premium Camilla time on wondering about someone like kumar.
she looked at the message from rotu rat. "hey cattie". 2 words absolutely devoid of meaning. she pitied the person who may take an IQ test of rotu rat. before she met rotu she thought only humans were stupid enough to go through hie, bye motions without purpose.
she felt like breaking rotu's nose. only he didn't have a proper one. plus he was a nice guy and despite his stupidity pretty useful.
she looked around to find the sun turning scarlet. she turned and picked up her favourite Garfield skateboard.
after 5 minutes of skating down she reached the nearest multiplex. her heart sank as she realized their were no animal flicks. she'll have to settle for one of those non funny human types.
3 out of 4 were the mandatory mushy romances(eeeeeks!!). her choice became clearer.
stepping into the controlled air conditioned environment she realized the difference.
she made a mental note to read the article about global warming in the "cat chronicles". she had missed reading it initially because she didn't like the photograph next to it. it was of a professor with dirty green eyes that all old and unglamourous cats have.bah!! old cat.
to be continued..lol :)
Saturday, April 7, 2007
delhi - jaipur super fast
6th April 2007
i board a Volvo from bikaner house for Jaipur. the seat next to me is unoccupied which holds the promise of more elbow room and mental space. for the next 90 minutes i stare at the tall buildings of Delhi and gurgaon. a confusion worms its way into the unused neural corridors i fancy as my mind.its the extent of the urban sprawl.
urban sprawl, also called suburban sprawl refers to the new, uncontrolled expansion previously less developed than the urban core it now surrounds.
i still wasn't any wiser about my whereabouts. pulling the window curtains didn't tell me if i was in NCR or outside.
i looked at the modern man's new best friend for succour. unfortunately my cell was as out of 'ideas' as i was.
some primitive geographical conditioning (class 3 social sciences ,i suspect)warns ("warms") me to expect a desert everytime i take a rajasthan bound bus. despite all belied hopes the stubborn expectancy refuses to go away.maybe one day they will recreate the textbook perfect sand dunes by the road side as an added tourist attraction.
the bus pulls at a mid way stop for 15 minutes . emblems of rajasthan tourism flood my senses.
15 minutes hence..
the bus starts again. miraculously the couple behind me empty their seats and move to the empty rear of the bus.whatever be their intentions,i get to recline my seat to the full 127 degrees. ( 127 degrees is the holy grail of reclining seats as proven in many suspect researches..lol) this one is pretty close..whichever way, its comfortable.
i pulled back my curtain to reveal the full majesty of the landscape passing by the bus. these are largely open spaces dotted by the occasional roadside stalls and hamlets.
its pitch dark outside . a white diffused light gets switched on inside . ( bad luck for relocating couples , but the light isn't my idea..lol)
we paint a colorful contrast . light and dark. i try imagining what it must be looking from the outside, like a capsule of light travelling into the heart of darkness.
i pick up an issue of outlook traveller featuring 'rafting on zanskar' (zanskar is an Indus tributary in leh) the contrast couldn't be more powerful. lost in rafting on lands which haven't seen a river flow by millenias. i drift into dreams!!
i board a Volvo from bikaner house for Jaipur. the seat next to me is unoccupied which holds the promise of more elbow room and mental space. for the next 90 minutes i stare at the tall buildings of Delhi and gurgaon. a confusion worms its way into the unused neural corridors i fancy as my mind.its the extent of the urban sprawl.
urban sprawl, also called suburban sprawl refers to the new, uncontrolled expansion previously less developed than the urban core it now surrounds.
i still wasn't any wiser about my whereabouts. pulling the window curtains didn't tell me if i was in NCR or outside.
i looked at the modern man's new best friend for succour. unfortunately my cell was as out of 'ideas' as i was.
some primitive geographical conditioning (class 3 social sciences ,i suspect)warns ("warms") me to expect a desert everytime i take a rajasthan bound bus. despite all belied hopes the stubborn expectancy refuses to go away.maybe one day they will recreate the textbook perfect sand dunes by the road side as an added tourist attraction.
the bus pulls at a mid way stop for 15 minutes . emblems of rajasthan tourism flood my senses.
15 minutes hence..
the bus starts again. miraculously the couple behind me empty their seats and move to the empty rear of the bus.whatever be their intentions,i get to recline my seat to the full 127 degrees. ( 127 degrees is the holy grail of reclining seats as proven in many suspect researches..lol) this one is pretty close..whichever way, its comfortable.
i pulled back my curtain to reveal the full majesty of the landscape passing by the bus. these are largely open spaces dotted by the occasional roadside stalls and hamlets.
its pitch dark outside . a white diffused light gets switched on inside . ( bad luck for relocating couples , but the light isn't my idea..lol)
we paint a colorful contrast . light and dark. i try imagining what it must be looking from the outside, like a capsule of light travelling into the heart of darkness.
i pick up an issue of outlook traveller featuring 'rafting on zanskar' (zanskar is an Indus tributary in leh) the contrast couldn't be more powerful. lost in rafting on lands which haven't seen a river flow by millenias. i drift into dreams!!
Thursday, April 5, 2007
from russia, with love
it must be difficult being Russia. no other modern country can claim to have a more tumultuous history. the Russian revolution , the world wars, socialism and communism , the cold war times and the disintegration of the soviet union. all in the space of a mere 80 years.
for almost 50 years it took on the entire might of a broad ranging western alliance spearheaded by the mightiest, most resource rich empire ever formed in man's social history. the united states.. from across the cold war battle lines it fought a mighty covert battle with a foe economically its four times.
the end was predictable. what was amazing was the sheer duration of the hold up. Russia never had the industrial backbone that the west had, yet it never gave up its quest to seek parity.
it never lacked intent and purpose in locking horns with an enemy much mightier.
the 90's was a lost decade for most Russians as it was for much of India's poor millions. but here was something that external commentators missed while talking about the dismal state. no society or country , indeed no single person can stay entirely stagnant. always their is some underlying motion. Russia was also experiencing some political simmering.
by 2001 the change came to the fore. in Putin they found a man willing to take on the world. the unipolar world had new messages.if you are to beat Goliath you can't stay a David, you have to metamorphose into another Goliath.and Russia became a capitalist dream, and in turn a nightmare.
global geopolitical tectonic poles changed fast and thick. the post 9/11 world had a common enemy to slay "global terror" . a ubiquitous term for a vague, amorphous motley group of characters who had taken leave of civilization and operated in parallel universes of their own making. operating on narcissistic borderlines , these individuals had become full time employees of strife.
it was in this back ground that Russia began a quiet and a remarkable turnaround.
its military and diplomatic prowess came to the fore in the Chechnya solution. although the question is far from settled ,Russia has done well after the initial setbacks.
shanghai cooperation organization is another example of a a successful diplomatic manoeuvre. its attempts to bring the Russian underbelly back in its orbit are largely paying off.
economy in booming like never before. Russian oil and natural gas pipelines run through the body of Europe like life giving blood lines.
the future economics predictions are imbued with optimism.
the high watermark of Russian diplomacy and its recognition came with the previous G 8 summit in saint petersburg the first ever in the former socialist heartland.
for India the implications are clear. Russia is an old and trusted ally. its steadfastness in providing military and nuclear solutions to us is legendary. today with a booming economy their are multiple synergies emerging between the two old friends.
Russia India china remain the best bets to a future multi polar world.
for almost 50 years it took on the entire might of a broad ranging western alliance spearheaded by the mightiest, most resource rich empire ever formed in man's social history. the united states.. from across the cold war battle lines it fought a mighty covert battle with a foe economically its four times.
the end was predictable. what was amazing was the sheer duration of the hold up. Russia never had the industrial backbone that the west had, yet it never gave up its quest to seek parity.
it never lacked intent and purpose in locking horns with an enemy much mightier.
the 90's was a lost decade for most Russians as it was for much of India's poor millions. but here was something that external commentators missed while talking about the dismal state. no society or country , indeed no single person can stay entirely stagnant. always their is some underlying motion. Russia was also experiencing some political simmering.
by 2001 the change came to the fore. in Putin they found a man willing to take on the world. the unipolar world had new messages.if you are to beat Goliath you can't stay a David, you have to metamorphose into another Goliath.and Russia became a capitalist dream, and in turn a nightmare.
global geopolitical tectonic poles changed fast and thick. the post 9/11 world had a common enemy to slay "global terror" . a ubiquitous term for a vague, amorphous motley group of characters who had taken leave of civilization and operated in parallel universes of their own making. operating on narcissistic borderlines , these individuals had become full time employees of strife.
it was in this back ground that Russia began a quiet and a remarkable turnaround.
its military and diplomatic prowess came to the fore in the Chechnya solution. although the question is far from settled ,Russia has done well after the initial setbacks.
shanghai cooperation organization is another example of a a successful diplomatic manoeuvre. its attempts to bring the Russian underbelly back in its orbit are largely paying off.
economy in booming like never before. Russian oil and natural gas pipelines run through the body of Europe like life giving blood lines.
the future economics predictions are imbued with optimism.
the high watermark of Russian diplomacy and its recognition came with the previous G 8 summit in saint petersburg the first ever in the former socialist heartland.
for India the implications are clear. Russia is an old and trusted ally. its steadfastness in providing military and nuclear solutions to us is legendary. today with a booming economy their are multiple synergies emerging between the two old friends.
Russia India china remain the best bets to a future multi polar world.
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
love letter
This is a response to an unusual request to write a usual love letter( is anything about a love letter usual..lol) to a favourite celebrity
Vienna
i write this with a heavy heart and a heavier pen ( the Mont blanc you gave me in Athens)
their's little in the world that could match the love i have for you. it's been 17 years loving you, most spent without you having the barest conception of my existence.2 years of knowing you is something i'll never trade for anything . and yet, as i moved from lalganj to ludhiana to losangeles one thing never flickered. my love for you.
you have come a long way from the cute "rachel" of your "friend's" day.and yet for me you never changed. your smile has the same infectious enthusiasm of an 18 year old. your laughter still has the same drugging influence on me that it then had.and when you look at me with your eyes wide shut, i get transported to a totally new zone.
and their are things that you never told the world. of all the dark lines crossing your heart diverting the pumping blood. i understand that sorrow like no man can. believe me, i live with you, every minute...every passing second.
Jennifer, i may joke and whine without ever getting serious. but the stakes have been upped.
i love you, like any man can love any woman. what our respective histories have been is not something i'll love to live with. its the future that beckons me. living, loving and walking into that golden sunset, hand in hand...separated by a sliver of light, joined by beating hearts.
Jennifer, will you be the dispenser of my destiny, the queen of my heart's broad acres.
you are the every woman i ever desired, the every woman i dreamed of....let me live with you and treasure a million passing moments, spent together , frozen in time...growing old with you.
be mine Jennifer, you are the one love of my life, you mean everything to me...
saurav
Monday, April 2, 2007
reading-1
its almost surreal," reading about reading". just like writing about writing or dreaming about dreaming..:)
when analyzing, this appeared to be the most difficult and complex topic to write about. when i stopped analyzing , the demons melted away and i spent the best minutes with the keyboard in a long time.
anyone who will ever read this post must have loved reading for probably the entire memory of his/her conscious lives. i have and so have you.
and somewhere down the line, the act became as natural as anything else.
over the years we have climbed up and down on the fiction ladders, identifying with intriguing characters and vilifying the unruly ones. though not all nice, good ones turn out to be heroes just as black marketeers and hoarders are not always villains.
my choices have swayed. from an infant fixation with Astrix and nagraj to teenage endearments to characters like Archie and jughead. growing up changed everything.
my two heroes lie on the two ends of a variety of spectrum's. and yet, beneath the covers they are the same people.
Rhett butler and Howard roark. both are part villain part hero. Rhett lives in opulence and chases his desires. roark chooses penury over wealth and gives up any and all desires he deems unnecessary, which is almost everything.
Rhett butler is unprincipled and a crook of first level.he's an epitome of flexibility. he's selfish and smart. roark is ultra principled and won't compromise , at any levels.rigid is the word for him.
and for all these vices, they are packed with virtues of their own. for without them, they could not have carried 1000 page novels on their shoulders. of course their were very strong women characters to support them, specially in the case of 'gone with the wind' , but that's another story.
if there's a sterling quality that unties them, its honesty and raw courage. far away from their insular public posturings, they were sensitive people. there was a line in guru which best describes them "jab log tumhari burai kare, toh samajh lo tarraki kar rahe ho" ( if people start criticizing you, you must understand that you are doing well)
both of them were the people that they were because of one central reason. their total absence of fear. they were people who had nothing to lose. in the "godfather" the feared don is afraid of only one man. Luca. in don's word " this is a man who does not fear dying, you can never harm him". theirs more in this line for us, than what a Sicilian mafia don would have guessed.
our middle class lives are built on the platform of security and continuity.
even dropping a year in the academic session is considered "wild"
while the system has worked well for the society as a whole, the same cannot be said of individual dreams.
our fears are huge and overpowering, our lives consequently dull and sequenced. fulfilling the staple middle class dreams we forget something. their is a higher life beyond the charming world of everyday economics and commerce. it may be differently shaped for differently skilled people, but the point is, it exists .
its just one life we get, reclaim it while you still can.
when analyzing, this appeared to be the most difficult and complex topic to write about. when i stopped analyzing , the demons melted away and i spent the best minutes with the keyboard in a long time.
anyone who will ever read this post must have loved reading for probably the entire memory of his/her conscious lives. i have and so have you.
and somewhere down the line, the act became as natural as anything else.
over the years we have climbed up and down on the fiction ladders, identifying with intriguing characters and vilifying the unruly ones. though not all nice, good ones turn out to be heroes just as black marketeers and hoarders are not always villains.
my choices have swayed. from an infant fixation with Astrix and nagraj to teenage endearments to characters like Archie and jughead. growing up changed everything.
my two heroes lie on the two ends of a variety of spectrum's. and yet, beneath the covers they are the same people.
Rhett butler and Howard roark. both are part villain part hero. Rhett lives in opulence and chases his desires. roark chooses penury over wealth and gives up any and all desires he deems unnecessary, which is almost everything.
Rhett butler is unprincipled and a crook of first level.he's an epitome of flexibility. he's selfish and smart. roark is ultra principled and won't compromise , at any levels.rigid is the word for him.
and for all these vices, they are packed with virtues of their own. for without them, they could not have carried 1000 page novels on their shoulders. of course their were very strong women characters to support them, specially in the case of 'gone with the wind' , but that's another story.
if there's a sterling quality that unties them, its honesty and raw courage. far away from their insular public posturings, they were sensitive people. there was a line in guru which best describes them "jab log tumhari burai kare, toh samajh lo tarraki kar rahe ho" ( if people start criticizing you, you must understand that you are doing well)
both of them were the people that they were because of one central reason. their total absence of fear. they were people who had nothing to lose. in the "godfather" the feared don is afraid of only one man. Luca. in don's word " this is a man who does not fear dying, you can never harm him". theirs more in this line for us, than what a Sicilian mafia don would have guessed.
our middle class lives are built on the platform of security and continuity.
even dropping a year in the academic session is considered "wild"
while the system has worked well for the society as a whole, the same cannot be said of individual dreams.
our fears are huge and overpowering, our lives consequently dull and sequenced. fulfilling the staple middle class dreams we forget something. their is a higher life beyond the charming world of everyday economics and commerce. it may be differently shaped for differently skilled people, but the point is, it exists .
its just one life we get, reclaim it while you still can.
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